Charles Stross

Unlife is rough for Gloriana St. Clair. The vampire council of Austin, Texas, doesn’t like the vamp theme of her retro clothing boutique, demons are invading her space, her boyfriend won’t forgive her for an affair she had while demon-possessed, an undead rock star is mixing blood and alcohol, and – after 400 years – she still wishes that the aforementioned boyfriend had waited until she’d lost some weight before the final bite, trapping her for centuries in a size 16 body