by Wendy Hunter

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
~Mark Twain

Like most kids growing up, my sisters and I had a diverse menagerie of pets. One of our first was a white guinea pig named Jo-Jo, who followed my mom around the backyard while she hung sheets on the line. Jo-Jo made little oinking noises while mowing the lawn with her two front choppers. Unfortunately, she met her demise when the neighbor’s scary dog busted through our fence. We moved when I was in the fourth grade, and ever since, our home has rarely been without a pet. I had a blue parakeet named Bubbles, who liked to stick her itty-bitty beak into my mouth and peck my teeth. I think she secretly wanted to be a dentist. My second bird was a yellow cockatiel, with a feathered head, who my uncle aptly named Chapeau. My older sister owned a hamster called Trucker, who would escape from his cage and run down the hall to my parent’s closet. He would promptly chew a hole in their wicker hamper, tunnel into a corner, then scare the bejeezus out of my mother when it was laundry day. We even had a large aquarium filled with striped angelfish. One day, we returned from vacation, only to find that several of them had jumped to their death and landed on the kitchen floor. I don’t know which fish came up with that bright idea, but he obviously didn’t think it through…

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. ~Will Rogers

Our only cat was Mandy, a black and white Manx, with emerald green eyes. She lived quietly for many years until she went completely mad, started climbing the curtains, and my dad had to chase her out of the attic. My younger sister’s pet was a tiny red-eared turtle, who hung out underneath a little plastic palm tree in his container.

Of course we had several dogs, including a Beagle named Candy, who always got sick in the car, but produced a lovely litter of puppies. Later, there were a couple of strays, Misty and Ginger, that my dad rescued from work. For a while, my parents had Annie, an American Bulldog, who was a 50th wedding anniversary present from us girls. She had a big block head, long legs, and soulful brown eyes. But the most beloved pet we ever had was Maggie the English bulldog, who my parents completely adored. An official Fresno State mascot, she was built like a Mack truck, with a sweet disposition and squishy face. Her snoring was ferocious, her farting unbearable, and she loved battling with the garden hose. Splish splash!

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Pets are perfect in every single way, except one; they just don’t live long enough. They leave us much too early. Whether it’s your 6-year-old Great Dane or your 14-year-old Papillion, the sorrow we feel is still the same. How can we possibly go on with our daily life? Constantly waiting for the sound of the doggy door, the click of nails on the hardwood floor, or the sight of a fuzzy face in the window. If you’ve lost a dog, you know the first thing non-pet owners say, “It’s ONLY a dog.” Which is the moment you must take a step back, and leave the room, before doing something you’ll regret. Maybe something like inviting them to the tortilla slap challenge. That seems about right. Because in your heart, you know that your best friend was NOT just a dog. They were your buddy, your protector, and your confidante. They were literally, your whole world. You took them everywhere, to the beach, the park, the snowy sidewalks of your childhood neighborhood. They knew all your secrets, your hopes, dreams, and even your fears. They knew when you had a bad day and laid their soft head in your lap. They knew when something fantastic happened, and you sprinted up the porch to greet them, a special treat in your hand. You gently offered it to them, planting kisses on their wet nose…smooch!

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.~Mark Twain

For us volunteers, losing one of our ARF dogs is just like losing one of our own; it’s so easy to get attached. A few years ago, I became smitten with a tiny black Pomeranian named Pico. She was a senior, quite adorable, and danced around like a little ballerina. Because of her age, it was going to be tough finding her a home. Eventually, she was adopted by one of our volunteers. Later, when I heard she’d passed, I cried like a baby. The only thing that made me feel better was knowing she spent her last few years in a loving home. Grief manifests itself in many ways, and people respond to it very differently.

If you’ve had to put a dog down due to illness, there can be guilt, and anger, too. You feel guilty you couldn’t do anything more to help your pet, and angry at the cancer that ended their life. I had to put down two dogs within a year, and they just happened to be ARF dogs. I adopted Chopper and Taco many years before I became a volunteer, and they were the most delightful dogs I ever had. I sobbed and sobbed for each one after they died, until I just couldn’t wring one more tear from my eyes. However, I only have fond memories of them both. Well, except when Chopper scattered the stinky kitchen trash everywhere, and Taco gobbled up cat poop on our daily walks. Gross…

Honor your grief and the pain you feel when you lose a beloved pet. It is the first step toward healing.~Karen A. Anderson

Taking time to grieve a pet’s loss is an important step in the healing process. It may take weeks, months, or even longer to start feeling like yourself again. My father passed away five years ago, and it’s still an ache I can’t get rid of. I heard a podcast quote recently that said, “She had a dad-shaped hole in her heart.” Grief is a normal feeling, whether it’s for a human or a pet, and it’s not the same for everybody. Some people may dive into a deep depression or become withdrawn. It’s helpful to talk to friends or family with pets, who can understand. At times, people may find themselves feeling better, and then suddenly, the sadness returns. Especially if your mind can’t shake the last few moments of your pet’s life. Just passing by a vet’s office can sometimes trigger images you’d rather forget. Inevitably, you’ll understand your best friend is gone, and you can smile at their memory.

For those who live alone, particularly seniors, losing a pet can be extremely difficult. The house is silent, but the loneliness is louder than a hurricane. It’s important for those who live alone to get some extra words of comfort and empathy. Also, surviving pets in the home may exhibit signs of depression, like not eating or drinking, and not wanting to play. Since animals feed off our energy, they’re going to feel exactly how you feel. Lots of TLC and maintaining a normal routine can be a great help. And a few extra tasty treats couldn’t hurt…

A good dog never dies. He always stays. He walks besides you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter’s drawing near. His head is within our hand in his old way. ~Mary Carolyn Davies

On August 28th, ARF volunteers held their first Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day in our Memorial Garden. A day to celebrate the lives of so many dogs who enriched our lives, and who won’t be forgotten. Their ashes were lovingly sprinkled in the yards where they once played, and in the soil beneath our flowering plants and trees. There are many ways to honor your pet; I have dog paw tattoos, a daily reminder of how much I miss my boys. If inking a body part isn’t your thing, you can spread your pet’s ashes somewhere special. Be sure to check that you’re doing it legally.

You might reserve a spot at home for your pet’s ashes and treasured photos, or create a memory box with their collar and favorite toys. Etsy is a great site to locate things like paintings, statues, or memorial stones with a representation of your pet. You can also find unique products that include your pet’s ashes, such as a bracelet, ring, or necklace. Losing a pet is a devastating event, wearing you down mentally and physically. Just remember to grieve the way YOU want to. If you need to stay in bed for three days straight, going through an entire box of Kleenex, then do it. If a long stroll around your dog’s cherished duck-filled pond brings you joy, then by all means, get out there. Your body will know when it’s time to accept this loss, and give you permission to move on. Then after a while, it might be time to welcome another pet into your life. And when you’re ready, ARF will be there to welcome you…

Animal Rescue of Fresno
4545 E Dakota Ave.
Fresno, CA 93726
Website: arf-fresno.com

Check out more animal rescue stories in our Pet Perspective section and check back every month for another animal rescue adventure from ARF. Advertise in KRL and 10% of your advertising fees can go to a local animal rescue. We also have a pet Facebook group for KRL and we would love to have you join!

Wendy Hunter has been volunteering with ARF since 2014. She grew up in Fresno and has been an Office Assistant with Fresno County for 7 years. She has been writing all of her life, though never professionally, and currently writes personalized poetry for birthdays, weddings, pet remembrances, etc.