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NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade Will Star Snakes!

IN THE March 12 ISSUE

FROM THE 2016 Articles,
andTerrific Tales
SECTIONS

by Gail Farrelly

Enjoy this St. Patrick’s Day short story by mystery author Gail Farrelly. It was previously published on The Spoof!

We’re not talking human snakes. There are sure to be some of them in the parade too, but we’re talking about snakes of the reptile variety, and they will not only be in the parade, but they’ll be honored guests.shamrock

You may think this is a wee bit strange. It was, after all, St. Patrick who threw the snakes out of Ireland. But hey, times change. Think of it as a sort of reparation for the snake population!

There’s a story behind the NY invitation. You see, when snakes were told that they would no longer be welcome at the St. Patrick’s Day parade in another city in the U. S., they were hurt and depressed. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. But then their leader, Simon Snake, Esq., held a rally and surprised the group with this joyful announcement: “Hey, let’s just face the music. We’re not wanted by some folks. Who cares? Their loss. I’ve contacted the mayor of New York City and told him of our plight. He’s invited us to slither up Fifth Avenue in the best St. Patrick’s Day Parade in the world in the greatest city in the world. Dry your tears and get ready to PAR-TY!”snake

After a rousing round of cheers, Mr. Snake got serious and reminded the group of some of the rules of the NY trip. “Absolutely no drinking of alcohol on the parade route,” he said, adding, “and if you must snack, do NOT eat each other.” He said that they’d all be given miniature green top hats, trimmed with shamrocks, to wear; and he cautioned them against eating the cardboard shamrocks. “Your Let’s Face the Music tour package is pretty much all-inclusive, but it does not include emergency room costs of stomach pumping.”

When leaving the meeting, a delighted little snake told his friend: “I can’t wait for the NY parade. Our down-low position will give us the perfect vantage point for sneaking a peek up the kilts of the bagpipers.”

Briefs, boxers, or nada? Begorrah, we’ll soon have the answer!

Gail Farrelly (Twitter: @gailfarrelly) lives in Bronxville, NY. She writes mystery books, short stories, spoofs, and lots of other stuff. She’s putting the finishing touches on a book of her spoofs, LOL: 100 Comic Cameos of Current Events. She shares a website www.farrellysistersonline.com with her sister, Rita Farrelly, author of the local best seller, Not in the Bronxville: A Suburban Mystery Novel.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Earl Staggs March 13, 2016 at 8:11am

A fun and quirky story, Gail, and I loved it.

Reply

2 Gail Farrelly
Twitter: @gailfarrelly
March 13, 2016 at 5:08pm

Earl,

So glad you enjoyed it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Reply

3 Barry Ergang March 14, 2016 at 2:46pm

You’ll hear no hissing here, Gail! Rather, fangs for slithering another rattling fun prose piece our way.

Just wondering if one of my favorite cinematic celebrities, Anna Conda, was a member of the parade.

Reply

4 Gail Farrelly
Twitter: @gailfarrelly
March 15, 2016 at 11:18am

LOL. Anna Conda. Love it.

Barry, Thx for reading and commenting.

Hope you have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Reply

5 Doward Wilson March 17, 2016 at 7:29pm

Delightful!

Reply

6 Gail Farrelly
Twitter: @gailfarrelly
March 18, 2016 at 1:48pm

Doward,

Thanks for reading. So glad you enjoyed the story.

Hope your St. Patrick’s Day was happy.

Reply

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