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Bull Wanders into Irish Pub, Doesn’t Give It a Rave Review


FROM THE 2018 Articles,
andTerrific Tales

by Gail Farrelly

This story was previously published by Spoof News in 2011.

The sign on the door of a pub in County Cavan reads “A Thousand Welcomes,” but a bull who stopped there for a pint after a long day of grazing claims it’s false advertising. “I didn’t even receive one welcome,” he whined.cow

The bartender claimed he didn’t serve him because he wasn’t of drinking age, but the bull’s not buying it. “That’s nothing but a lot of bull,” he said.

The bull has told friends it wasn’t his kind of place anyway. The customers scattered far and wide when he entered their midst; not a friendly face in sight. “You’d think I was from Pamplona or something,” he complained.

When he went to visit the restroom, he found it locked. The bartender refused to give him the key, claiming it was closed for its daily cleaning. “More bull,” the bull said, adding, “Whoever heard of a pub restroom being cleaned on a daily basis, if at all?”beer

And it annoyed him that one corner of the pub was set up for a game of darts, dominated by a huge bullseye at the center of the dartboard. This was accompanied by a sign, Hit the bullseye and get a free pint. “Quite politically incorrect in this day and age,” the bull reported, holding his head up high and blinking his large, gorgeous dark eyes.

The bull has confided to friends, “I won’t be going back there, that’s for sure. But there’s a nice china shop next door that I’ll visit when I’m in the mood for a little browse and a nice cuppa.”

Gail Farrelly (Twitter: @gailfarrelly) writes mystery novels and short stories. She publishes satire at The Spoof. Her short stories are sold at Untreed Reads, on the Kindle, at iBooks, etc. Gail is working on more mysteries and a book of spoofs.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Earl Staggs March 10, 2018 at 8:45am

Cute, clever and charming, Gail. Good job.


2 Jan Christensen
Twitter: @JanSChristensen
March 10, 2018 at 9:04am

Fun story, as usual, Gail. Made me smile all the way through.


3 Jacqueline Seewald March 10, 2018 at 1:56pm

I love the humor in this story! Very clever.


4 Terrie Farley Moran March 10, 2018 at 5:57pm

Wonderful story. Fabulous ending. And in one of my ancestral counties no less. You have made my St. Patrick’s Day extra special!


5 Michelle March 12, 2018 at 8:08am

I love to laugh while I a am reading


6 DOWARD WILSON March 12, 2018 at 2:39pm

Thanks for the laugh!


7 Gail Farrelly
Twitter: @gailfarrelly
March 16, 2018 at 3:57am

To Earl, Jan, Jacquie, Terrie, Michelle, and Doward,

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!


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