Bull Wanders into Irish Pub, Doesn’t Give It a Rave Review

Mar 10, 2018 | 2018 Articles, Terrific Tales

by Gail Farrelly

This story was previously published by Spoof News in 2011.

The sign on the door of a pub in County Cavan reads “A Thousand Welcomes,” but a bull who stopped there for a pint after a long day of grazing claims it’s false advertising. “I didn’t even receive one welcome,” he whined.cow

The bartender claimed he didn’t serve him because he wasn’t of drinking age, but the bull’s not buying it. “That’s nothing but a lot of bull,” he said.

The bull has told friends it wasn’t his kind of place anyway. The customers scattered far and wide when he entered their midst; not a friendly face in sight. “You’d think I was from Pamplona or something,” he complained.

When he went to visit the restroom, he found it locked. The bartender refused to give him the key, claiming it was closed for its daily cleaning. “More bull,” the bull said, adding, “Whoever heard of a pub restroom being cleaned on a daily basis, if at all?”beer

And it annoyed him that one corner of the pub was set up for a game of darts, dominated by a huge bullseye at the center of the dartboard. This was accompanied by a sign, Hit the bullseye and get a free pint. “Quite politically incorrect in this day and age,” the bull reported, holding his head up high and blinking his large, gorgeous dark eyes.

The bull has confided to friends, “I won’t be going back there, that’s for sure. But there’s a nice china shop next door that I’ll visit when I’m in the mood for a little browse and a nice cuppa.”

Gail Farrelly (Twitter: @gailfarrelly) writes mystery novels and short stories. She publishes satire at The Spoof. Her short stories are sold at Untreed Reads, on the Kindle, at iBooks, etc. Gail is working on more mysteries and a book of spoofs.

7 Comments

  1. Cute, clever and charming, Gail. Good job.

    Reply
  2. Fun story, as usual, Gail. Made me smile all the way through.

    Reply
  3. Wonderful story. Fabulous ending. And in one of my ancestral counties no less. You have made my St. Patrick’s Day extra special!

    Reply
  4. I love to laugh while I a am reading

    Reply
  5. Thanks for the laugh!

    Reply
  6. To Earl, Jan, Jacquie, Terrie, Michelle, and Doward,

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

SUBSCRIBE NOW!

podcast

powered by TinyLetter

The gold medal for all-around wonderful kitty could easily go to darling Chicken Little! This cutiepie never misses an opportunity to hoot it up with her friends, explore any nook or cranny, and make it her mission to check out whatever happens to be going on. Chicken Little came along way after suffering a toe injury calling for immediate amputation. She's all better now and you can't even notice she's missing a rear toe. What an adorable combination she is of fun-loving spirit and sweet, deep affection, a girl who will easily capture hearts in a forever family that cherishes her. Precious Chicken Little would love to be your most darling doll! Check her out on the Cat House website to learn more.