by Ron Van Sweringen
Agnes Valentine dipped her jelly donut into the coffee cup, and then bit down on the soggy delight. A glob of raspberry filling oozed out, traveling slowly down the front of her white blouse.
His laughter was instantaneous, almost hysterical, the man sitting across the counter from her eating a hamburger. He was laughing so hard at her dilemma, that he didn’t notice the mayonnaise covered pickle and tomato slice sliding down the front of his necktie.
Now it was Agnes’s turn to laugh. The woman sitting next to her witnessed the spectacle and burst into laughter also.
“Serves you right,” Agnes said to him, “a gentleman never laughs at another person’s misfortune.”
“I’m sorry,” he replied, carefully lifting the pickle and tomato from his tie. “It was just that the expression on your face was priceless. The way your eyes popped out and those wrinkles running across your nose when your lips puckered up, like you just stepped in dog poop.”
“Really,” Agnes smiled, gritting her teeth. “Well I suppose you’re luckier than I am. You’ll never have to wear that tie again.”
“That bad?” he replied, looking down at the red and white stripe necktie with its huge grease stain. “I suppose you’re right, my necktie probably runs a close second to your blouse.”
“That does it,” Agnes retorted. “I’ll have you know this is a very expensive blouse.”
“Oh I’m sure,” came the quick reply. “It’s just that some things don’t look as expensive as they are.”
“Do me a favor,” Agnes rolled her eyes, “don’t talk to me anymore, just forget that I’m sitting over here.”
“Alright, if that’s what you want,” he shrugged his shoulders, “but I think you’re making a big mistake.”
“Oh please!” Agnes could hardly control herself, “and why is that?”
“Because then I couldn’t tell you that the woman who was sitting next to you, just walked off with your pocketbook.”
You can find more of Ron’s short stories here in KRL’s Terrific Tales section.