Elaine Orr

No one likes the food police, especially during the Christmas holiday season. Retired Logland High School teacher Louella Belle Simpson didn’t care, though, as she never hesitated to criticize everyone’s eating habits, health status, or weight. Not even children were saved from being a target of the former health and home-ec teacher, which helps to explain why very few residents in Logland, Illinois, mourned her death. It was the manner of her demise that rocks the town, though, as poor Bully Pulpit Diner co-owner Marti Kerkoff found Louella in the spin cycle of the Logland Laundromat dryer.