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Vampires Suck:Movie Review

IN THE September 4 ISSUE

FROM THE Books & Tales,
andFantasy & Fangs,
andJayce Ham,
andMovies,
andTeens
SECTIONS

by Jessica Ham

The Twilight Saga books by Stephanie Meyer are okay, but the movies are awful. That is one of the many reasons why a parody movie was made: Vampires Suck. There are so many things to make fun of in Twilight, and Vampires Suck covers all of them. Jenn Proske plays Becca Crane (Bella Swan in Twilight), Matt Lanter plays Edward Sullen (Edward Cullen in Twilight), and Chris Riggi plays Jacob White (Jacob Black in Twilight). The story line goes back and forth from Twilight to New Moon. The writer’s put the story in an order that makes more sense then the actual movies.

The actors in The Twilight Saga are awful. However, the actors in this movie are incredible, and their comedic timing is impeccable. They should have played the real characters in the original movies. Jenn Proske actually has a personality and Matt and Chris are gorgeous. I could not stop staring at Chris and Matt the whole movie. They are way more drool worthy then Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. I hope this movie wins a lot of awards because it sure deserves it.

The directors of this awesome film (Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer) even decided to incorporate crazed fans into the movie. At one point, there are a few girls with “Team Jacob” shirts and with “Team Edward” shirts, who start a fight in the middle of a scene about which team is better. I suggest everyone who is a part of the “I hate Twilight” fan club see this movie. Even people who love the original movies should see it. It will make you take the movies a little less seriously and maybe it will even make you enjoy them a little more.


Jessica Ham is 17 years old and an ongoing contributor to our Teen Talk section; with dreams of being on Broadway, she’s right at home covering Entertainment.

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