by Heather Parish
Dancing with the Stars Update: Guilty Pleasures Night.
It’s Guilty Pleasures Night on Dancing with the Stars, despite the fact that just watching DWTS IS the guilty pleasure. Couples dance to music considered “guilty pleasures”. Hanson is guest house-band this week, and they all look strangely overgrown, but then it has been a Bieber lifetime since they’ve been on the airwaves.
Kirstie Alley is up first, doing the samba to Britney Spears’ “…Baby One More Time.” After much taped discussion in re whether Brazilians think when they samba, Kirstie hits the stage with more energy and confidence than we’ve seen since her first week of competition, although she still wasn’t as sharp and aggressive as her first week. Judge Bruno took his sexual critiques up a notch this week, beginning with Kirstie’s dance: “Ooh yes, hit me, curse me, one more time!” judge he pleads. “You delivered the smoothest and most natural Brazilian north of Rio. Your wiggly bum sent shockwaves through the airwaves.” She is awarded two 9s and finishes with a total of 26/30.
Chris Jericho and partner Cheryl Burke do a tango to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Well, the tango was slow and uncomfortable, like Jericho just couldn’t get into it. Cheryl tended to lead her way through the dance. Judge Bruno calls the performance “a lump of granite.” Judge Carrie Ann Inaba agrees. Judge Len Goodman says it lacks intensity and Chris winds up with 22 points.
Romeo and Chelsie Hightower waltz to “My Heart Will Go On and On,” the Celine Dion number from “Titanic.” They’re wearing simple, Edwardian inspired costumes inspired by Leo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet in the film, bucking the usual odd DWTS costuming trend. There aren’t many actual waltz moves in their number and Chelsie is doing most of the leading, but it looks like Romeo is trying to take it seriously, gets the season’s first 10 and scores 28 points.
Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas do a quickstep to “Walking on Sunshine,” the 80’s pop ditty by Katrina and the Waves. Inexplicably, Mark and Chelsea have looked elsewhere for their storyline. I know they’re in character, because they’re both wearing goofy glasses and are carrying backpacks and looking at books. No worries, they drop the backpacks and the story line right away, and it’s another high-energy, highly choreographed piece by Mark in which Chelsea has to remember and execute a whole lot of steps, proving once again that they are the best dancers this season by several laps. But, the judges won’t acknowledge that flat out– we’re supposed to talk about effort and heart more than actual technique and the scores can often be equally as screwy. “That was so bright and luminous I’m getting a suntan,” Bruno raves about their number. Carrie Ann gives them a 10 too, and their tally hits 28 as well.
Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel samba to Ricky Martin tune “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Kendra who, just last week, we thought as actually a force for evil on the show, is turning out to be a force for truth in all things. After Louis urges her to shake everything “that God gave her,” she announces, “Well, my boobs aren’t what God gave me.” Her samba is a rousing good time with better technique and attitude than Kendra has yet shown. But, as she is an ex-stripper, she is far more exposed (no pun intended) to the slings and arrows of judges trying for their sound bites:
“The more you gyrated, the more I palpitated. You fulfilled one of my guilty pleasures,” Len exclaims.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting ‘The Revenge of the Stripper.” Part 1: Attack of the Killer Boobs!” bellows Bruno. “Let’s do it now – let’s get it over with, Kendra,” Bruno gasps, climbing up on the judges’ table.
And yet, judges give Kendra just 25 points.
Hines Ward and Kym Johnson do the Viennese waltz to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road,” and this is more dancing than we’ve seen from him before. Hines is really pushing to overcome his natural stiffness and do more dance steps than poses. “Every dance you do is just great” says Len, who then criticizes his flat feet. Bruno also has high praise, likening them to “two lovebirds chasing each other in a spring sky.” The cold water came from Carrie Ann, saying, “I felt you were thinking too much…we don’t want to see thinking.” Three 9’s bring Hines a total of 27 points.
Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff dance the paso doble to “Everybody Dance Now” — the C&C Music Factory dance hit from 1990. They start out in a crouch, then jump up to reveal Ralph wearing an extra long paso doble coat. A few bars into the routine, Karina trips and falls on Macchio’s coattails. To Ralph’s credit, he gets her up and after a few false steps they’re back in their routine. It’s a real rarity to see a DWTS pro go down in an unforced error, but it has happened twice this season. Ralph’s grace under pressure solidifies his image as a standup guy and, on top of that, they’re dancing was actually rather good.
The judges rave about their recovery: “I’m not going to castigate you, I’m going to congratulate you,” Len says, for example. “Your pulled Karina up, got her back on her feet, got back into the dance. I’m proud of you; you should be proud of yourself, you just got on with it. Well done.” They award the couple 24 points, despite the error.
Tuesday’s Results Show:
At the end of Tuesday’s results show, Ralph Macchio and Chris Jericho were left in jeopardy and Jericho was sent home. Next week, the dancers will have to perform two dances during the course of the show, which really ups the ante during the downhill run toward the finals.
Dancing With the Stars airs on Monday nights with Eliminations on Tuesday nights on ABC. Follow commentator Heather Parish’s real-time thoughts on DWTS via Twitter, Monday evenings beginning at 8 p.m. PST.
Check back here Wednesday evenings for more of Heather’s thoughts and an overview of the week’s episode! Check out last week’s intro article in KRL!