by Gail Farrelly
Enjoy this fun little Easter spoof previously published at TheSpoof.com. This is purely a work of fiction.
Make no mistake. It’s not a “peep” show.
Take your mind out of the gutter and see that we’re talking about peeps. Y’know those soft marshmallow candies (yellow chickens and pink bunnies are the most popular) that folks either love or love to hate. Less creative people buy them to stuff into Easter baskets. Not Lady Gaga. She bought boxes and boxes of them and ordered her designers to make a dress (with shoes and a matching shawl) out of them.
She’s told friends it was time for a change. While at first she loved her meat dress, she’s grown tired of it. “Too bloody tough,” she reported, adding, “well actually, make that bloody and tough.”
Lady G was honest in a chat with reporters about the pros and cons of her new outfit. “On the positive side, if I get hungry I always have a snack available,” she said, as she bit off a tiny bit of her shawl to chew on. She continued, “And the peeps shoes are soft and comfy. Who cares if the high heels are a little wobbly?” She admits that her large picture hat has been somewhat of a problem. “The sweetness of the peeps attracts a lot of bees and other insects,” she complained, “but it’s not a big deal.” She confided that she just waves them away, using those little circular waves often used by Queen Elizabeth and other Royals.
Lady Gaga told her fans to spread the word that there are many more peeps shows to come. Having discovered that peeps come in many sizes, designs and colors, she’s ordered tons of “raw materials” that are awaiting transformation into special outfits for all the holidays in the coming year. Lady G winked and told her fans to think Halloween pumpkins, Thanksgiving turkeys, and Christmas stockings — the soft and squishy variety.
With a Royal wave, she hopped into her eggmobile for the ride home.
More of Gail’s short stories, and many others, can be found in our Terrific Tales section and more St. Patrick’s Day short stories in this issue.