A California Magazine with Local Focus and Global Appeal:
Community - Entertainment - Human Interest


Weekly issues every Saturday morning and other special articles throughout the week — there's something for everyone. Check out our sister site KRL News & Reviews for even more articles every week.

Previous post:

Next post:


The Vampire/Ghost and the Cat: A Halloween Short Story

IN THE October 19 ISSUE

FROM THE 2016 Articles,
andPets,
andTerrific Tales
SECTIONS

by Bobbi A. Chukran

Here is another fun Halloween short story!

“What’s with the white cape? And the teeth?” the black cat asked the strange fellow lurking in the alley.

“I’m a vampire/ghost.” black cat

“Seriously?”

“Yes, I’m as serious as the grave.”

“A vampire/ghost? What does that mean exactly?”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean, what does it mean?”

“Well, are you a ghost who is also a vampire, as in–a ghost who might have a predilection for, say, sucking blood? OR are you a formerly undead vampire who is now properly dead, say, somebody killed you, then you turned into a ghost and you’re now haunting me?”

“Aren’t those the same thing?”

“Oh no, my dear fellow. Not the same at all. One presumes that one came before the other. In the first instance, you were a ghost in the first place. In the second instance, you are a ghost in the second place.”

“Well, if I was a ghost in the first place, then how could I have been turned into a vampire?”ghost

“Probably in the traditional way. How would I know? I was not there!” the cat exclaimed.

“Think about it. Doesn’t getting turned into a vampire assume that I was alive in the first place? Warm-blooded, as it were? If I was a ghost, then I’d already be dead, wouldn’t I? Because you see, there are no ghosts that are not already dead.”

“Well, which are you then?” the cat asked.

“I have no bloody idea! I don’t even know what my name is right now.”

“I believe it’s Vlad.”

The vampire/ghost nodded. “Oh, I see. Right, right—it’s Vlad.”

The cat frowned. “Then, there’s another thing, come to think of it. You say you’re a ghost.”

“Riiiight.”

“AND a vampire?”

“Yesssss….”

“So, if you’re a ghost, then that means you are a dead undead vampire, so it’s simpler to just say that you’re a ghost. Why waste the breath, so to speak, saying ‘vampire ghost?’ Either say, ‘I am a vampire,’ or, ‘I am a ghost.’ No need to muddle up everything.”

The vampire/ghost shrugged. “I dunno. I suppose it’s a sense of pride thing. There’s a certain cache that goes with being a vampire. I’m not sure that applies with just being a ghost.”black cat

“Well, hold on there, my dear fellow! I’m sure there are plenty of ghosts who wouldn’t agree with that. Don’t you have friends who are ghosts? What would they say if they heard you disparaging their existence? Or non-existence, come to think of it?”

“I don’t get out much these days. I take my friends out to dinner, then they have the audacity to fall over dead. So I don’t bother.” The vampire/ghost shrugged.

“I see. So, do you actually TAKE your friends out to dinner, or do you HAVE your friends for dinner? Because it sounds to me like it’s the latter.”

“I don’t understand, what do you mean?” the vampire asked.

“There’s a difference, you know.”

“What?”

“Well, if you take them out for dinner, you’re implying that you’re having drinks, a few laughs, perhaps some hors d’oeuvres, then a big dinner, and maybe even taking in a show. You’re entertaining them.”wine

“But I don’t eat much. I could never eat hors d’oeuvres AND a big dinner.” The vampire frowned and rubbed his stomach. “In fact, the very idea makes me a bit bilious.”

“Your digestion is beside the point. You’re the one who said you take your friends out to dinner.”

“You’re right; I did.”

“Then they die.”

“Yes, unfortunately. I get carried away.”

“So, you’ve never wondered why? Doesn’t it seem a bit suspicious to you?”

“I suppose.”

“So, like I said, there’s a difference. In the second case, if you HAVE your friends for dinner, then basically, they become the main dish. THEY are the entertainment.”black cat

“Ah! I see.” Vlad nodded.

“Then they become ghosts OR vampires, because they were made dead AND undead all at the same time. In that case, it’s really an either/or scenario, and not an all-of the-above scenario.”

“Ah, yes. So then, they become vampire/ghosts. And NOT ghost vampires. Because they were dead before they were undead.” The vampire stared at the cat. “Or were they?”

The cat nodded. “Oh yes, because that’s the way it works, isn’t it?”

“You know, you’re a very smart creature.”

The cat blinked. “But of course. I am a cat!”

Check out other mystery articles, reviews, book giveaways & short stories (including more Halloween ones) in our mystery section and watch for many more Halloween short stories this month.

Bobbi A. Chukran spins tales of mystery, fantasy and horror from her vintage home in Texas and is an avid gardener who tends over eighty antique rose bushes. She’s the author of Lone Star Death and the “Nameless, Texas” short story series (among others). She blogs about her writing at http://bobbichukran.blogspot.com.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Della WilliamsonNo Gravatar
Twitter: @DellaWilliamso6
October 19, 2016 at 10:24am

Love this story. Cat talks a lot like my second son does. We all call him the “technicality kid” With his convoluted thinking, he is always trying to get out of something.

Reply

2 bobbi a. chukranNo Gravatar
Twitter: @bchukran
October 20, 2016 at 7:08am

Thank you, Della! Glad you enjoyed the story.
A recent post from bobbi a. chukran: Story Accepted for New Anthology!My Profile

Reply

3 Jacqueline SeewaldNo Gravatar October 19, 2016 at 11:05am

Witty piece! And perfect for Halloween.

Reply

4 bobbi a. chukranNo Gravatar
Twitter: @bchukran
October 20, 2016 at 7:09am

Thank you, Jacquie! Glad you liked it. I do get inspired around Halloween. 🙂
A recent post from bobbi a. chukran: Story Accepted for New Anthology!My Profile

Reply

5 Larry ChavisNo Gravatar
Twitter: @lchav52
October 19, 2016 at 11:24am

Och! My head hurts! 😉

Fun story, Bobbi.

Reply

6 bobbi a. chukranNo Gravatar
Twitter: @bchukran
October 20, 2016 at 7:09am

Thanks, Larry! Sorry for the headache. LOL. While reading the story to Husband, he kept clutching his head, going “What? What?” LOL
A recent post from bobbi a. chukran: Story Accepted for New Anthology!My Profile

Reply

7 Gail FarrellyNo Gravatar
Twitter: @gailfarrelly
October 19, 2016 at 3:19pm

Brava, Bobbi! A fun story. Happy Halloween!

Gail’s latest short story: THE GREATEST ESCAPE https://is.gd/d5wad2

Reply

8 bobbi a. chukranNo Gravatar
Twitter: @bchukran
October 20, 2016 at 7:10am

Thanks, Gail! Happy Halloween to you, too!
A recent post from bobbi a. chukran: Story Accepted for New Anthology!My Profile

Reply

9 Earl StaggsNo Gravatar October 20, 2016 at 8:48am

That was a fun story, Bobbi. Your mind works in strange and wonderful ways and I love it.

Reply

10 Doward WilsonNo Gravatar October 20, 2016 at 3:53pm

Really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.

Reply

11 Barbara EliassonNo Gravatar October 22, 2016 at 7:03pm

Love your cat, Bobbi–and its twisty thinking. Enjoyed following the twists.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Twitter ID
(ID only; No links or "@" symbols)

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post:

  • Arts & Entertainment

  • Books & Tales

  • Community

  • Education

  • Food Fun

  • Helping Hands

  • Hometown History

  • Pets

  • Teens

  • Terrific Tales