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Rogue Festival 2017: Why You Should Start Your Own Religious Cult … Today!

IN THE February 18 ISSUE

FROM THE 2017 Articles,
andTheatre
SECTIONS

by Jaguar Bennett

The 2017 Rogue Festival is almost here. KRL will be featuring several Rogue Performer Preview articles over the next few weeks, and a preview article on this year’s Rogue Festival as well.
We will also be reviewing many of the shows once the Festival begins the beginning of March, and we may even do some more video interviews. Check out our Rogue Performer event page for more information as it becomes available, and you can also check out the Rogue 2017 website.

How satisfied are you with your current job? Are you really earning your full potential, or are you, like most of us, just slaving and struggling, hoping that someday you’ll get that “big break?”

Do you know who isn’t struggling? Pope Francis. The Dalai Lama. David Miscavige, the current head of Scientology, Inc. Thomas Spencer Monson, the president of the Church of Latter Day Saints. These guys are sitting pretty, having their every need and whim catered to.

How did these businessmen do it? They seized the opportunities that are available to all in the growth industry of the 21st century …. RELIGION!

rogue

Jaguar Bennnett

A career in religion offers high pay, low educational and skill requirements, respect and exciting romantic opportunities. Why would you do anything else?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying to yourself, “That’s great work if you can get it, but at my age I don’t have the time to become an acolyte or an initiate in a religious order. It’s too late for me to work my way up to Pope, Supreme Master or Guru status.” But that’s where you’re wrong! Religion is a highly competitive field and opportunities abound for a savvy entrepreneur who wants to offer a totally new religious product.

What secret was known by St. Paul, L. Ron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, Siddhartha Gautama, Zoroaster, Henry VIII, Martin Luther, and David Koresh? These highly accomplished breakthrough pioneers understood that there is always room to START YOUR OWN RELIGION.

That’s right. You can start YOUR OWN RELIGIOUS CULT TODAY in the privacy of your own home … with no capital outlay … and with no prior training!

I’m conducting an exclusive training seminar, START YOUR OWN RELIGIOUS CULT FOR FUN AND PROFIT, this March at the Rogue Festival in Fresno. I’ll be teaching four business opportunity training seminars at Veni Vidi Vici on March 4, 5, 10, and 11. Full details are available at roguefestival.com and at my website, jaguarbennett.com.

And how much am I asking for this exclusive LIFE-CHANGING business seminar. JUST FIVE DOLLARS.

So if you’ve ever sat disgusted in a pew thinking “I could do this” … if you’ve ever thought that you may have a HEAVENLY SPARK OF GOD WISDOM or could be a REVERED SUPREME ASCENDED MASTER … if you’ve ever wanted to secure your financial future in the EASIEST WAY POSSIBLE … if you’ve ever wanted to have ABSOLUTE POWER over the lives of a few followers … or a few million … then you’re ready to START YOUR OWN RELIGIOUS CULT TODAY!

DON’T MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY to become a revered divine figure to millions! Sign up now for this EXCLUSIVE training seminar and start your slave army today!

Namaste!

Jaguar Bennett is a comedian based in Fresno who has no discernible moral fiber. His previous shows at the Rogue Festival have included The Agony of Living, How to Be Wicked, and Bullshit Is My Native Language.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Annette NaishNo Gravatar February 19, 2017 at 9:38am

Shoot Fire, if I were nearer, I could jump on this like a duck on a June Bug. I have always had the desire to be adored and admired.

Reply

2 Annette NaishNo Gravatar February 19, 2017 at 9:45am

If I were nearer I would attend your seminar. I have always thought it would be nice to be admired and adored.

Reply

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